The bad news is Mom's alternator went out this morning. It's a 290 part brand new and devilishly tricky to find in the junkyards as the 97 dodge neon requires a 90 amp alternator. (For those who don[t know this is the charging system of a car) It's also hard as hello to get to since it sits in about the middle of the motor towards the back so that's another 40 on top of the aprox 50 for the part. We have no spare money atm, so I am going to have to use my privilege pay to get it and take a $32 overdraft fee. I might be able to do it to my new account and not take a double hit as the Planet Fitness money comes out tomorrow. If the accounts are linked then I'll have to pull out enough for gas and green dot it to paypal. Anyhow, that's the bad news.

The good news is now that the electric in Mom's name went into collections I can now get the power on in my name, providing that I get a statement saying that Mom doesn't live there any more, for an additional $290. I had just paid all the money that I got from donations on the old bill 10 days before we got the letter that they put Mom's account in collections so we don't have that money on standby. T.T  I spun them a tale of being homeless and using my "aunt's" address as my mailing address until she left everything to me and vanished. They looked up my address and saw that's what I had for the past 5 years. I'm rather proud of that little story. It isn't precisely a lie, five years ago I was staying with a boyfriend and chose to use that as my mailing address because I didn't want to have my ssi check go there, after having a terrible experience with my ex husband over the check 13 years prior to that. I just neglected to tell them that I moved back in a few months later.

So, either way we only need around 300 more dollars to watch our house light up and hear the fridge and freezer hum as they cool our food again!

First things first I must state that we are still no closer to getting our power back on. Ohio Edison sent it to collections, so now, despite us paying what we can on it, Including all the donations, (thank you btw) we now have to pay over 3k to get it back on at our house.

This hasnt stopped me from getting work done on my book, however, as my netbook now has a new battery plus the old one on standby. Tate Publishing loves the book and is quietly waiting until I get it wrote. We talked via email for a very long time. I may wind up using lulu.com first then coming to them once I get up the publicist fee. I found out who they use and they are really good. Everyone has been quite satisfied with their preferred firm.  I talked with and he is delighted to be the illustrator for it. Of course the cover art will be a totally different story but I don't mind if they hire it out, as long as the styles are similar then it's no big deal. I am on chapter 4 of about 16 and going strong.

If you wish to read the first chapter send me a note and I will send you the stash link to it. Someone said it starts out a little slower than they liked but if they expect me to start in the middle of a battle then I guess I'm a different style of author than they're used to. Personally I think it starts out fine, and better than the first draft, but then I'm more of an ease the reader into the hectic pace kind of girl. It picks up quite fast in my opinion, just like events in real life often do. Anyhow, note me if you want to read it and offer suggestions just please dont give it out.

Be sure to vote in the current poll as I try to come up with a good title for it. Remember, Aden does not want his magic at first and had a bad experience with it at a young age, hence the reluctance title theme.

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

Yesterday I was walking through walmart with Mom, when I got a phone call. It was Ratchel of Tate Publishing. I had submitted the first chapter of Aden's adventure to her on her request. She loved it! Ratchel cannot wait to read more! She's sending me a contract to go over and she sent some info via email.

I WILL BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR! ran through my mind. Then I realized that I had to finish it and most of all get the almost 4k refundable publicity firm fee up. First of all I need my power back on, so I told her about my situation, unable to hide the joy in my voice. She said, since I hadn't wrote more than a few chapters of it that there was plenty of time but she was definitely interested in getting it published, and to keep sending her chapters as I complete them, bearing min mind that I will have to eventually send off a completed manuscript. I assured her that I knew and we can cover all the fine details when the time came. She asked if I knew where I was going, and I told her that I did, it was just hard to tell cause it's all tucked up in my mind.

So, one day you will find my pen name (which I haven't decided on 100% yet) on the book shelves! I don't want to have old friends and fiends coming after me, I would rather keep a low profile. I havent heard back from her about the pen name or chapter 2 but I will make a poll so you can help me chose the name of the book.

Thanks for all the support and if you havent already please donate so I can get my power on and get the ball rolling! [link]

PS, please vote in my poll for the name, I'm thinking Reluctance of Aden, seems to have more zing to it. [link]

Amelius and her husband has really given me and Mom both hope for getting our power back on long before October. (That's when we can pay 175 and get back on for the winter) And hopefully before summer heat sets in, as we will have absolutely no air circulating inside the house for us or our cats. I will not say what she is planning, that's on her but if you donate at least $10 at this [link] you will get a really really good treat about her comic. All it would take is 190 people to get my power on at that price. Why that's less than the amount of people in my town. Am I fooling anyone that I expect that many people? I have hope but truthfully I doubt it.  I do plan on hopping though for once hope is gone then only despair is there.

Anyhow, in the past week my netbook cord decided to go out on me. Boots had chewed it last December when he was cutting his wisdom teeth so really, I am quite surprised that it hung out that long. Needless to say I had no choice but to use a little bit of the donations (12.49) to get a new one. I could have gotten one for half that but I wanted a cord that was 100% compatible with my netbook to prevent any problems and I got it in 2 days flat. I was shocked. I would recommend techheist.com [link] to anyone needing excellent products and service.

Another good news is that I rooted my android phone see this  [link] on a very good way to do it. Just make sure you have the right drivers for your phone and you follow the directions to a T or you will be calling up tech support trying to tell them that it was their fault you're stuck in a bootloop or something. Anyhow, the main reason I rooted was so I can have a portable hotspot for my netbook. I am on it right this very second, enjoying slow, but stable wifi. it won't win a race against something like Road Runner but it works exceptionally well. I also wanted to stop Carrier IQ, which I might remove forever once I make sure I don't mess up my phone by having it disabled. Carrier IQ, just in case you never heard of it is a software that crept into millions of phones. Claiming to be a diagnostic software for your carrier, it tracks each and everything that you will ever do on your phone. It broadcasts this even in airplane mode over your very own, personal, wifi as Trevor Eckhart shows in this [link] video For all the beef that is beef on it check out Google here [link] It is a huge privacy scandal. To merely read the highlights see this [link] As someone who depends on her phone now more than ever I do not want big bad sprint nosing into my personal business and ratting out on me to straight talk that I rooted my phone so that was the first thing I disabled of the bloatware that they put on it. Most of your androids are actually sprint based, which I dislike but I would hate to return to a dumbphone and flat out refuse to to go iphone. I have a very deep mind but shallow pockets

And with that comment I must leave everyone because my netbook is finally dying. i guess hungting down all those links for you to read killed the battery. Oh swho am i fooling, this thing only gets about 3 hours out of a full charge, which is much more than some notebooks. Of course if I would go through it and disable what I dont need or underclock it then I would get a lot more time out of it. Anyhow, see ya and thanks for reading.

InsaneXade

I've been quite moody recently, so this is my way of apologizing to Hogan about his innocent comment. I was just thinking moments before I checked Deviant art on my phone that if Dad hadn't drank himself to  then we would still have power and be a whole family again. Not only did Dad die three years ago but over $2000 of income died with him. His SSI was the first to disappear then, slowly half of Mom's routes got taken before she could master how to do them solo in the winter time. Then Poor Innocent Hogan makes a comment on Boots doing his tail that completely shatters my mood and leaves me winded from sweet and terrible memories of Dad's final days.

It didn't help that Kenny Rodgers "The Dance" had just finished playing. You see, Daddy and I only ever shared one dance, the dance at my graduation party. It was a classic dance, I forget the song. We were swinging arms, stepping close, all the while keeping our hands clasped. As the song reached its crescendo we were turning each other. As it climaxed we both spun at the same time and our behinds touched. We were both "goosy" "jumpy" whatever you want to call it. So in that immortal second our fannies touched just right that sent us running from each other with a scream of ticklishness. I slammed against the pool table and tried to climb it, landing spreadeagled just gasping up at the light waving madly a foot above my eyes. While Dad ran to the door and tried to go through it to be stopped by some unknown person entering, spooking Dad once more into running back in to be caught by the proprietor of Bills Place, Kenny, laughing as hard as anyone. I brushed the lamp aside as I sat up and looked at Dad. He looked at me and he just laughed....

It's bittersweet memories like that which sends me spiraling into a super touchy mood. Although The Dance had nothing to with that moment that song makes me replay it in perfect timing and the final seconds just slows to a crawl in the final notes as Dad's voice rings in my ear, all the laughter and teasing joy as he says "I aint ever dancing with you again." At the time I never realized that was the dance we shared the moment burned into my memory that I never shared online until now.

So Hogan, please please don't feel too hurt that your innocent comment sent me on a depression spiral. It wasn't your fault. When I sat down to write this journal in Planet Fitness's bathroom stall I had no idea that I would be baring my soul to all who read it. I just wanted to give an update that I was still here sitting in the dark unable to make my solar panels because the power inverter isn't the correct one and the soldering iron that I had has a broken tip. I over spent myself on Ebay and used up my gas money. I now live day to day hoping that I will get enough carrier collect checks to make it to payday in gas but it's okay. I am learning that when push comes to shove and you are sitting in the dark with no electric the only one to blame is your loving heart. Should I have shut it up and said "No Mom, we are not going to let my cousin and her kids come live with us for the winter for we will regret the temporary joy that they will bring when they leave us worse off than ever before."? No, I opened my heart to another moment of getting burned for the sweet sweet pain of it. I suppose I am addicted to heartaches and sitting in the ashes of my own burning heart.